Mop-Up Nitro 01.22.01 

By Hyatte

Mop-Up Nitro

Next time you bitch at me with the old "If you don't like Nitro, don't recap it! Let someone who does like it do the work!"... keep this in mind..

I slept through the RR PPV, so I SHOULD order the replay...

But Nitro is on TUESDAY, during the replay... okay, there's TWO showing of the Rumbnle AND Nitro, so I should be able to see both, right?

WRONG!!! What about Buffy and Angel? They are on during the first Nitro and the first Rumble!! NO REPLAYS THERE!!! (well, there ARE replays, but I don't feel like searching for them.) There's also NYPD BLUE!!! Can't forget about that (BRING BACK CARUSO!!!!).

So, do I skip Buffy/Angel watch Well, I will NOT skip Buffy or Angel... F-wrestling... 

And I can't skip Nitro for ANOTHER week... even though none of you douchebags read the recap...

So the Rumble gets dumped... ALL FOR YOU PEOPLE!!! EAT ME!!1

Nitro (or: Hey!! Where's the guy with the goofy ass 'fro? HAW!!!)

-WCW logo. Now "Fusient Friendly"!

-highlights from last week... in case you missed it. (and judging from the ratings, you did)

-EXCLUSIVE, NEVER BEFORE SEEN footage from last week where Steiner, Jarrett, Luger and Bagwell watch the Sid injury over and over again and MOCK the injury by snapping chicken wing bones. That is DISGUSTING!!! A MAN'S VERY CAREER MAY BE OVER AND YOU PEOPLE LAUGH OVER IT???? 

-say... how come Sid can't sue WCW for damages? 

-Because he doesn't have a leg to STAND ON!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA... HO HO HO!!! HAW HAW HAW!!!

-Fellow workers should NOT have fun! But Net C-stains who never leave the house can have all the fun they want at his expense.

-The show officially begins with a fireworks display. Tony Schiavone is on hand to announce that what we just witnessed was a "SICK SCENE FROM SCOTT STEINER AND HIS CO-HORTS!!!"

-He introduces us to a "Very special TUESDAY edition of Monday Nitro". I already challenge Tony to EXPLAIN his use of the phrase "very special"... will Mary Lou Retton show up to show Special Olympians that EVERYONE'S a winner if they try their best? SOMEHOW, I DOUBT THAT!!!!

-Besides... if their "best" just doesn't cut it... then they are FAILURES!!! You parents out there, be smart... clue your kids in on this!

-Scott Hudson asks "what type of man would take CREDIT for something as TRAGIC as Sid's injury???" (tragic? Come on... the man was like a slow death in the ring)

-Tony had other things in mind... beginning with a newsbreak. WCW's hardcore champion has DESERTED SHIP LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT!!!!! "We here at WCW are OUTRAGED at the UNPROFESSIONALISM exhibited by this... this... ROTTEN SCUM. How DISGRACEFUL for ANYONE who is deemed worthy of holding a company's title to ABANDON the company without dropping the strap FAIR AND SQUARE all for a cheap pop. We here at WCW DENOUNCE this practice as vile, despicable, and pathetic!" Then Tony announced that the WCW Executive Committee has decided to give the belt to Mike Awesome, "A TRUE professional".

-Oh, and as a side note, WCW is in a transition period. They have switched ownership and NO one knows what's going to happen in the next few weeks. BUT... Tony has to wonder where Ric Flair fits in all this? He's CEO by order of Time Warner... but Time Warner is no longer in charge. WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN??? (hmm... yes... Bischoff and Flair... no history there. No bad blood at all... no sir-EE)

-Ric Flair came out to either beg for his gig or SCOFF at his new/old/new/old/new again boss. Let's see if he's prepared to go another 12 rounds with the mighty Uncle.

-Animal was with him too. Luger was, as well. Hey, Buff too.

-Flair grabbed the mic and announced that one lesson we should have all learned by now is that when you hang with greatness, you yourself stay great. (oh, now he's reading old Fortune Cookie messages!!! He's lost it!)

-He called Road Warrior Animal "The Man"... AND his personal bodyguard.

-He said to some broad, "You want some of that baby, I know! You can't have it, he's working tonight!" (oh ICK... lecherous old fart)

-He said Steiner and Jarrett were on their way to the building to "save our souls". (Dang... never in my wildest dreams did I think Jewel was talking about two rasslers)

-Flair called the upcoming "Superbrawl Revenge" PPV the "greatest Pay Per View in Wrestling History!" (you know... I had a FEELING all the others through the years were just a warm-up)

-He said that he considered Goldberg as a possible challenger to Steiner's belt... but then remembered that the poor guy was retired. (The WEAKEST... SADDEST... LAMEST chant of "Goldberg" was attempted by some fans. Man... it really made the show look like it was held in a barn somewhere in the backwoods of "Hicksville". I honestly feel so sorry for these guys.

- )

-So THEN he considered Sid... oh well darn, Steiner took him out as well.

-Flair then lectured someone off camera about how wrestling is actually REAL. yes, and a sign on last night's RAW agreed.

-So, Flair had to hunt down a legit number 1 contender... he thought and thought and thought some more... and then EUREKA!!!! The German... Aryan... Uber... European Superstar... ALEX WRIGHT!!! 

-Tony, "ALEX WRIGHT????"

-Hudson, "NUMBER 1 CONTENDER????"

-of course, Tony and Scott made sure we knew that Alex Wright WAS an absolute FORCE to be reckoned with who could literally destroy anything and anyone the WWF could throw at him but... NUMBER 1 CONTENDER?????

-Wright came out and danced at the entranceway. I'm waiting for one clown to say the word "BERLYN"!!

-Wright spoke a few words of German. I'm sure he threw "Screw the Jews" somewhere in there.

-Kevin Nash came out. And stared at Flair. Flair screamed, "NAAAAASH, NAAAAASH!!" Then warned him again about "screwing his interviews" (and keep away from Flair's daughter too, ya' big stud!)

-Wright got pissed and took a pop at Nash. As with everything he does concerning wrestling, Nash no-sold it.

-Wright was powerbombed through the stage. Tony, "GOOD NIGHT, DID YOU SEE THAT???" Hudson called him a motherfu**ing thief LIVE ON AIR!!!!

-Flair, "NAAAASH!!! NAAAAASH!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? THAT'S MY NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!!!!"

-Nash, "Let me tell you knowwww (WOW... a curveball!!).. not anymore. Looks like Steiner's dance card is wide opened. Looks like I'm the number one contender!"

-Hudson, "OH HO HO HOOOO I DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING, TONY!!" (ah shaddup, you hump)

-Flair said this will NEVER happen. Not so long as HE is in charge!! This is HIS WCW.

-Nash said that he IS the #1 contender and he's got himself some backup!

-Out comes Ernest Miller and his floozy. After a bit of dialogue, including a joke at Luger's expense that no one picked up on, he said that the match for the PPV was already set.

-Flair freaked. Miller told him not to have a heart attack. Flair freaked some more... then said that if Nash wants his title shot. He'll have to qualify for it by going after Buff Bagwell tonight. Buff was a bit miffed. So Flair named Luger as guest ref. Buff got unmiffed.

-Miller said that Luger had other duties tonight. And brought out Dallas Page. 

-Page grabbed the mic and says "Flair, just when you think you've got all the answers... the Commissioner... the Cat... changes the questions!!" (somewhere in Oregon, Roddy Piper heard this... spit out his beer... and screamed, "OH YEAH!!!! WELL I MAY BE 45!! BUT I LOOK 35 AND I WRESTLE LIKE I WAS 25!!!!!" Then he realized that he there were no cameras in the room... sat back down and switched over to 3rd Rock. He muttered to no one, "Let me tell you something, that French Stewart is one funny monkey!"

-Miller said that the winner of Page/Luger will get to be guest ref for the Buff/Nash match... (you call that an incentive? Jesus... lay down, take the three and go home early)

-more promos wrapped this up. Various inter-group discussion ensued. Tony tried his best to keep us situated on TNT during the night's first set of...

-commercials. You cannot imagine how sick and tired I am of hearing the phrase "you cannot imagine" in their PPV spots. Actually, I guess you can... it's not like I am a sea of rage and disgust over this.

-moments ago, Das Wunderkind fell hard to the might of the Nash. If only Big Sexy was around 60 years ago... Tom Hanks would have NEVER had to die searching for Matt Damon.

-backstage Mike Sanders grabbed Chavo Guerrero and tried to recruit him for Flair's Army. He told Chavo to keep an eye on two freshly hired cruiserweights who will be fighting later tonight. (oh boy... with the coming of Bischoff... SO COMES THE JAPANESE!! I imagine Zach Arnold has his first major erection of the Millennium right now)

-Sanders also book Chavo and A-Wall against Hugh Morrus and Lash Cajun. (whatever)

-DumbasA-Wall... proving that the only smart thing Sullivan ever did was keeping him quiet... rose up silently and said, "Sanders... we need TWO BODY BAGS!!!!" Chavo, "For what?" Wall, "because... the legend... of the MIA's ENDS TONIGHT!!!!!" (what's his problem?)

-Jeff Jarrett, Rick Steiner, and the albatross showed up. Flair met up with them and begun clueing them in on what happened. 

-Mike Modest came out. He looked at the crowd and screamed, "I'M THE MAN!!" (way to sell the name, douchebag)

-Christopher Daniels came out. He is the Fallen Angel. Somehow, I doubt Satan would wear such a femmy choker.

-These must be the two recruits that Sanders wanted Chavo to watch... meanwhile, poor Zach gets a case of blue balls to spend the night with.

-Daniels tried to springboard off the top ropes, but slipped and LANDED RIGHT ON HIS HEAD!! I mean... POW... what a Piledriver is ALLEGED to do. Oh MAN...friggin' neck should have snapped right there.

-Daniels needed a few minutes to recover, those F-ing announcers breezed through it. God, guys. Jim Ross would have showed SOME compassion. It's OKAY to be human... you know? 

-Luckily, Daniels was okay. As far as we know. Then again... the guy survived a fall from Heaven... this must have been stepping off the curb for him.

-Things went outside. Modest threw Daniels into the steps. Daniels gracefully bounced to the apron... probably decided NOT to try another springboard... bounded into the ring... ran across, and planted his feet into Modest's chest. Then he "skinned the cat"... (I can't do that! I admit. Shaved a pussy or two in my day, but that's it)... and dumped over the top rope onto Modest.

-After a few more minutes and some pin attempts (Daniels FLEW with a top rope Moonsault)... it became a spot-fest

-Modest did a "Book End"... but went backwards instead of forwards. Nice touch.

-Modest got his big finisher... made instantly famous because we got to see Jims Cornette and Ross both say, "OH MAN!!!" (I forget if Vince stuck around for it) Daniels got his foot on the ropes. 

-This GOOD match... this HELL OF A MATCH... was screwed by Scott Steiner who ran out because he had a promo that he wanted to cut. (total bullshit. I mean... it's cool if we knew these guys were in the picture for good... but this is a try-out... and it was a GREAT match... they should have let them have a winner. DOUCHEY!! 

-I WILL say this... one thing Bischoff has ALWAYS excelled at was presenting WCW as a haven for newcomers. Even with the current... condition of the company... these guys told us that being there meant something to both of them. It's a good virtue for the company to take advantage of

-Steiner sort of used the pipe to SNAP the legs of Modest and Daniels. Hudson screamed, "NOOOOOOO" Tony screamed, "A HUMAN BODY DOES NOT TURN LIKE THAT!!!" Both men should be shot.

-Steiner grabbed the mic and cut his promo... F-HIM! I WANTED TO SEE A WINNER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN NITRO HISTORY!!!!!!!

-commercials

-Kwee Wee ran a segment with a Security Guard. If you care... you like guys... end of story

-commercials

-Team Canada came out. You know... I SWEAR I saw Major Gunns in a porno the other night. No, not the Best of Backyard Wrestling video either... I mean on "Spice".

-Stormy got on the mikey and said, "If I can be serious for a moment.." (HAW!! I LOVE IT!! No, really... I do. I get a huge kick out of it. I swear. hand to God. Needle in my eye. All that.)

-Unfortunately, I was so busy trying to convince you that I like it when he says that, I missed half the promo. I'm sure it had something to do with the Filthy Animals. (A war that Storm should have personally won WEEKS ago!!)

-He personally challenged Konan to a battle... reminding him that "Canada has never lost a war!" (yeah, that Vietnam thing was a TIE!!!... OH... oh darn... that was MY country. WELL IT WAS STILL A TIE!!!! How were WE supposed to know that they would hide in the jungles? They were supposed to come out and face us like MEN!)

-Storm, "Because I'm from CALGARY..."

-Hudson, "Where's that?"

-Storm, "... Alberta, Canada!!"

-man... GIVE HUDSON A RAISE!!!! HE'S GONNA SAVE WCW!!!

-Storm asked for the playing of the Anthem. It played. Hudson politely asked if Canada has ever BEEN in a war. Tony pondered that they were the masters at AVOIDING conflict. Does this qualify as racist?

-Those Filthy Animals came out. Oh for cripes sake... SOMEONE TELL KONAN THAT HE LOOKS LIKE A TOOL WITH THOSE RIDICULOUS SUNGLASSES!!!!

-Konan got on the stick and asked where his dogs were "at"... (hopefully at grammar school... where he should be.) Then he had more to say... which I HAPPILY blitzed through.

-They fought. GO GET 'IM STORM!!!!!!!!! KICK SOME ASS!!!!!!

-Cat fight between the two girls. FIRE TYGRESS NOW!!!!!!

-Storm hit the Maple Leaf. K-dick tapped. THE WAR IS OVER!!! CANADA WINS, CANADA WINS!!! CANADA WINS A FAKE WAR!!!! (heh... losers)

-commercials. Define "Cool"? When a series of old 30 year old Beatle songs can punk out the Backstreet Boys, Limp Bizcut, N Synch, and all these other wannabes.

-Shane Douglas tries to get himself into Flair's crew by way of Luger and Bagwell... ("Flair? Me and him go way back! I've always liked him!" That douchey little BASTARD!) Bags tells him that if he beats Miller so hard that he jumps in the ocean and SWIMS back to Africa, he'll get in. Douglas fires back, "Guys, isn't Miller from Chicago?" Luger shrugs, "same thing"... MAN... these guys are pushing it.

-Gene Mean called Hugh Morrus "General Rection" (someone send Gene the memo... PLEASE). Cajun promised to be with Hugh 'till the very end (I see a BETRAYAL COMING!!!). Hugh tried his best to convince us that the MIA's MEANT something special! (well it did help get Hammer out of our lives for good... that's something!)

-Page was prepping for his match. I think Luger was too. 

-commercials

-Luger came out.

-DDP did too. Otherwise, there would be no match, now would there. It would just be Lex posing. There's only one person I know who would get off on that... and that person's name is Lex Luger. Now, I officially give up any hope of salvaging something even remotely amusing out of this. I shall move on now.

-They stalled... they locked up... Lex grabbed the ropes. DDP pushed him. Lex smirked at the crowd with a "Is he kidding" expression. 

-Lex slipped out of the ring and took a breather. It's the 80's all over again! Where's David Crockett when you need him the most?

-Lex is back in, and gets caught in a chicken wing! he elbows out. 

-Off the ropes... DDP with the neckbreaker. A deep lariat follows.

-Luger with the mule kick

-Luger takes control, and parades around the ring fully aware that... oo, I can't wait for Nikita to show up and CLEAN HIS CLOCK!!!!

-HIT HIM WITH THE WEAVERLOCK, PAGE!!!!! THE WEAVERLOCK GODDAMMIT!!!

-Page recovers and rams Luger's nuts into the pole. Oh please... with the amount of juice Lex has put in his body... those bad boys have shriveled up to the size of raisins.

-Page sets up the Diamond Cutter... he does this by thrusting his arms up in the air. On his way down, his arm bumps into the ref. The ref went down. I am CONVINCED that Sullivan is back in charge now.

-Jarrett showed up. Page took a guitar shot.

-Lex hooked up the rack. And won. After all, how fun would it be if the FACES weren't against IMPOSSIBLE odds???

-heh... heh heh... Nash... impossible odds... NASH... *snort*... *titter*... BWAHAHAA

-commercials

-have they EVER mentioned where they were tonight?

Click Here For Part 2!!!


-The Mamalukes were RE-UNITED!!! (when did this hap... oh like I care). Just in time to face the team of Jindrak and... oy... Stasiak.

-Looking at the stats, there is one guy here whom I like... 3 I couldn't care less about... time is fleeting SOOOoooo...

-Natural Born Thrillers misstep and the Italian morons (redundant?) win. Bickering ensued. Put Jindrak and O'Hare back together... let Sanders speak for them... and toss the rest into the land of busted gimmicks. (speaking of which, where's the "Glacier" comeback anyway?)

-commercials

-The NTB's continue to argue... Stasiak seems to be the focus. Flair pulls Sanders aside gives him encouragement. (AHA!!!! SANDERS IS THE FATHER OF STACEY'S BABY!!!!!!!)

-Shane Douglas came out and cut a promo on the Cat.

-Miller came out and did the same. He also booked Jarrett against Page for Superbrawl. Flair got on the Fusientron and told us that this match will be for the WCW Commissionership. (Hooray!! Because we really, really need to give Douglas MORE time to ramble on) 

-Douglas attacked Miller before he could tell someone to call his... "ooph". (some loser at ringside, "CALL WHO, CAT?? WHO?? JESSE JACKSON??? JOHNNIE COCHRAN?? MARION BARRY???")

-Douglas got some licks in. Miller got some kicks in. Tony Tedeshi got some dicks in... OOPS... I flipped by accident... sorry.

-Sanders came out. Miller was able to stave him off.

-Either Jindrak or O'Hare came out... he proved bothersome... or maybe it was still Sanders. I wasn't paying attention... and I'm willing to bet that you ain't paying attention to me right now. Everyone wins.

-BUT... Rick Steiner showed up and took care of him. He pulled Douglas off. Suddenly, Hudson announced that this was a "No DQ match"... unless I missed something... which I probably did... because I suck... and I deserve to die. Right now. Lord, take me! Take me!

-Steiner gave Douglas a MEAN right hook. Miller gave him a MEAN thrust kick. Douglas went down... err... MEANLY. Miller got the pin. Miller stays in charge... sort of... how DOES this power structure work, anyway?

-commercials

-Chavo G and Wally A had their match with Hugga M and Lash L. It does not matter who won and who lost. All that matters is that the FANS GOT RED HOT RASSLIN' ACTION SERVED AS THEY LIKED IT!!! 

-commercials

-Earlier tonight... Flexy Lexy got the supreme honor of being the special guest referee for the evening's main event! If we cross our fingers and pray REEEEAL hard... he may treat us to some more posing. 

-He didn't... he is a HEEL!!!!! HEEL BASTARD!!! BOOOO... I SAY BOOOO

-Buff came out. He declared that Buff = Stuff = Ratings. History, reality, overwhelming evidence would refute that claim

-Buff hit the ring. Lex posed. HOORAY!!!! WHO SAYS HE'S A HEEL??? HE'S A DAMN FACE!!! HE'S IN THIS FOR THE KIDS!!!

-Luger grabbed a mic and announced that he will be "totally unbiased" for this. Buff agreed.

-Lex also said that if he really NEEDS to... he will get involved... but only to make sure everything stays on the straight and narrow. 

-And when it's over... Lex will raise the hand of the winner. He practiced on Buff to show how he plans on doing it. Cute spot.

-commercials

-Kevin Nash came out. Looks like the "Big Sexy" character is still on hyattus... the KILLER is on the prowl!! (and BOY... does he kill good salesmanship wherever he goes!)

-The bell rings... they face off... kneetothegutkneetothegutkneetothegut

-YESSS... my telepathic message was SENT!!!!

-Buff is stuffed in the corner. (heh)... knees and elbows a'plenty

-Buff rolls out... Nash follows. Buff rolls in. Nash follows. Luger grabs Nash's foot. Nash stalls. Buff runs over and crotches him.

-Buff goes for a pin. Lex is slow to get in position. Nash kicks out. Buff is upset. 

-Nash gets worked over.

-Nash recovers... gets off a sidewalk slam.

-Nash goes for the pin. Slow count. The Announcers cry foul.

-Nash with the Chin Drop on the Corner (yeah yeah... I know the name... sort of). Another slow count.

-Buff hits the spinning neckbreaker. Fast count.

-My God!! I TAKE IT ALL BACK!!! THESE ODDS ARE IMPOSSIBLE!!! EVEN BIG SEXY KEV CANNOT OVERCOME THEM!!!!! 

-the hell am I doing calling a grown man "big sexy Kev"?

-Lex has a chair and holds it up. Buff dropkicks it and right into Nash's head.

-Lex helps get Nash in position for a Blockbuster. Nash moves away and Buff lands solo. I still have no clue (otherthanthefactthatitsallfake) HOW this could hurt Buff alone, but it doesn't bother him when he has someone to use it on.

-Page has had enough... he runs out and Diamond Cuts Luger.

-Nash gets the jackknife. He goes for the pin. He manually drops Luger's hand three times and wins.

-Steiner runs out with a Pipe. He puts it to use.

-Kronik runs out. Animal. Jarrett. Page. Hell. Breaks. Out. Show. Ends.

Well... umm... no.

Neither show was blockbuster. Both shows were okay. But... oh I don't know.

Here. I have a nickel. Heads, Raw wins. Tails, Nitro wins. Why? Because Nitro is usally getting it's TAIL kicked in.

Here we go... *flip*...

TAILS IT IS

Closer City.

Now, I'm not one of those dickheads who scream about "the pigs", I LOVE Cops and have the utmost respect for what they do. Being a cop is not an easy career. Especially being a cop in a big city. Every day, they put their lives on the line for ridiculously small pay and very little applause. They are lied to constantly, hassled, spit on, and scorned. I love cops. If I wasn't sure that I'd bomb every single psychological test they had, I'd try to be one myself.

But... for the 95% of the hard working, decent, police officers out there who just want to do right... there are some rotten eggs who tarnish the entire job. Many a police force has been tainted by nepotism, dirty politics, and greedy corruption. It's sad for the guy who just wants to make his small corner of the world a great place to live.

Welcome to Providence. The capitol of Rhode Island. A literal den of Gestapo tactics, back room deals, flagrant abuse of federal laws, and backstabbing friendships. Basically, it's as if the Mob went semi-legit.

The following is a look at the Providence Police Force from the last two years. Keep in mind, all this is going on as the FBI is conducting an exhausting investigation of our City Hall... and is slowly closing in on our Mayor Vincent "Buddy" Cianci (think "Diamond" Joe Quimby on "The Simpsons" wikth Ted Kennedy's voice). Although some sources of mine tell me that Buddy cut a deal already and is selling out everyone he ever knew to save his ass. I think you'll enjoy this look at power run amok in the Biggest Little State in the Union. All of this information is a matter of public record, and can be found at the Providence Journal's home page (www.projo.com)

(note: because I still have to live here... and I doubt any of you will care enough to GO to the projo.com... most of the names have been changed... F-You)

WHO WATCHES THE WATCHERS? (or: THIS STUFF USED TO HAPPEN ONLY IN MOVIES!!!)

FEBRUARY 1999: The owner of the "Providence Pawnbrokers" files a $34,000 claim against the City for merchandise seized by the PPD in a 1996 raid that "cannot be located or were returned in damaged condition or not found in their original packaging". The Police claim that they "cannot find more than a dozen VCRs, television sets, and jewelry" which they were required to return to the pawnshop's owner. Later in May, Sgt. Nathan L. Libertini, who oversaw the raid, is demoted. Libertini goes on immediate sick leave and retires a few days later.

APRIL 1999: Top Police Officials admit that they cannot account for more than 250 cars taken in a drug arrests and then sold by the department. The Police claim to have "virtually no record of how much the cars were sold for or who bought them."

APRIL 1999: A Sergeant repairing a broken clock in a squad room finds a hidden surveillance camera. Angry Officers stage a "sick-out" and accuse the Chief of spying on them in hopes of finding out which cop is leaking damaging information to the Journal.

APRIL 1999: The Journal reports that Police have cut a deal with a drug dealer arrested with 62 pounds of marijuana. Richard DeMarco received a 15 year suspended sentence, avoiding a prison term. The police confiscate DeMarco's 1993 BMW and $19,000 in cash. Top police and city officials end up driving the car.

MAY 1999: The Police admit to the Journal that they STILL cannot account for "thousands of dollars in gold" that Libertini's squad had seized from the Pawnshop.

JULY 1999: The Journal reports that the police cannot account for two pounds of cocaine seized from an accused drug dealer. Over the Fourth of July weekend, officers scramble to find the drugs. On July 5, Mayor Vincent A. Cianci Jr. is set to call for a grand jury investigation into the missing cocaine. Less than an hour later, the police announce that they had found the drugs in an evidence room. 

JANUARY 2000: Two white police officers, John Doe and Juan I. Ortez mistakenly shoot and kill Cornel Young Jr., an off-duty black police officer outside an Olneyville (Providence burrough) diner. The shooting becomes a divisive issue in the minority community which leads to a series of protests and questions about whether the officers shot too quickly because they believed the black officer was a threat (Hyatte's note: In all do fairness, it's a much more complex story than I can summarize. At the time of the shooting, Young Jr. had his gun out and trained on a rowdy diner patron who was armed himself. So far, all reports say that Young failed to identify himself to the Officers when they arrived). A Grand Jury cleared the officers of any wrongdoing. Lawyers for Young Jr.'s Mother have threatened to file a 20 million dollar lawsuit against the city. Johnnie Cochran has been hired as the primary attorney for Mrs. Young.

APRIL 2000 Three off-duty officers are suspended for breaking into the home of a fellow officer and ransacking his apartment. Although upset with the action, a Top Official called the incident "horseplay that went too far."

APRIL 2000: Police Officer Rebecca Guzman is suspended for 30 days after she is captured on videotape assaulting a motorist whom she said "cut her off on Route 10 while she was off duty."

SUMMER 2000: Journal reporter Candace Shapiro manages to snap a picture of an alleged gunman creating havoc at the Annual Portuguese Day Festival in Providence. The picture captures the gunman, Raoul Hernendez, with gun in hand chasing after an unnamed woman. Providence Police Officer Philip Oswald approaches Shapiro in the lobby of the Providence Journal’s building and demands her camera and film. After Shapiro refuses to relinquish the film until after she develops it, Oswald tries to wrestle the camera out of her hand forcefully. He eventually stopped after she continued to fight with him. After the Journal breaks the story, the PPD issues a full apology. 

OCTOBER 2000: The FBI announces that it is investigating allegations that a $5000 bribe was paid on behalf of a police recruit to get him accepted into the Providence Police Training Academy.

OCTOBER 2000: Eight top police officials, including the public safety commissioner and two majors, testify before a federal Grand Jury investigating corruption in the city, The subject of the probe is the $5000 bribe allegedly paid on the behalf of the Recruit and allegations that favored officers received advance copies of promotional exams.

NOV 2000: In a special vote held by the Police Union, officers vote 212 to 70 seeking the resignation of Chief Vito Priggliesto. The Union contends that Priggliesto has lost the confidence of the officers and is no longer capable of running the state's largest police department. Priggliesto, who has the support of the Mayor, refuses to step down.

NOV 2000: The Journal reports that a self-described drug dealer, in PPD custody facing drug charges, told a detective that he bought a handgun from a police officer whom he identified as "one of his customers". The Officer, Anthony V. Rossi, also told police in Florida that he lost another gun there when he went to check himself into a substance-abuse facility. Rossi, who was never questioned about the missing guns or charged with a crime, resigns from the police force.

Quick update: In December, Mayor Cianci promises a "dramatic upheaval and restructuring of the Providence Police Department." He asks for, and receives, the resignation of Chief Vito Priggliesto. After promising to "search outside for leadership", Cianci quickly goes inside the department and hires Sgt. Mick O'Henry as the interim Chief. Many scoff at Cianci's speedy appointment, shrugging it off as just another puppet put into power.

There was another story of a high state official, possibly the Traffic Chief, who pulled over the side of Route when a truck filled with food and clothing for a local department store, and proceeded to fill his car trunk and interior with goods laying on the street... then driving off without a care. The article I used for this did not list this incident, and I'm too lazy to go hunting for the particulars. 

Like I said... Providence cops have a LOT of hassles... and most really do strive do be a loyal and caring public servant...

But if the tree is rotten, what chance do the apples have? 

Thank God I live OUTSIDE the city...

Thank God I NEVER leave my apartment either. 

Everybody SUCKS... EXCEPT for the hard working men and woman who wear the blue and just want to make it through their shift alive! GOD BLESS THE COPS!!!

Except for the Gestapo wannabes out there. You know who you guys are. Stop being such douchebags.

IMPEACH CLINTON!!!!!!!! 

Okay, I have to go change my name... or move... or something.

This is Hyatte.

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